pleasseeee don't grow up

Giles is growing up. Next thing I know, I'll blink twice and he'll be getting baptised. Another blink and he'll be a teenager with zits, who hates me. Then I'll blink a few more times and he'll be getting old, and he'll be admitting me into a nursing home. :/

I despise time! It goes way to fast :<

I am writing these melancholy thoughts over, I'll admit, a very minor occurrence. But it still tugs at my heart. Giles is not sleeping in our room anymore. He's in the next room and he's in a big boy cot instead of his little newborn swinging crib that he's had.

I won't be able to hear his little happy sounds he coos when he wakes up. I won't be able to hear his snoring or his dreaming sounds. I can only hear when he's screaming when he wants me to finally know he's awake and to come get him.

Well, I can't hear those things now. I don't have baby monitors. But I am friggin getting them because I hate this already.

Ok I PROMISE that I won't be one of these psychotic moms that babies their child so crazily till they end up living at home till their 40 or longer, having no friends and being completely maladjusted. I WON'T! Haha but I'll probably definitely have to fight off silly feelings like these for the whole of my children's lives.

Don't get me wrong, I am so happy in the now. Giles is growing and doing so many new things. He sits up soo well, he only topples over occasionally. He rolls over well and likes being on his tummy now (although he can't really roll back over onto his back yet! haha!). He has just starting bursting out with new sounds, baba, dada, bada, all sorts (not mama yet). He rolls arounds and screams and smiles at EVERYONE and laughs all day. He is SO lovely. And I do love the now! BUT I definitely miss the past. I miss his tiny tiny self.

I am terrified of him growing up and making mistakes and getting into trouble, and just basically living in this wicked world!

Maybe that is why I am crying over bygone days already. :/

Ok I'm sorry for this post haha it was very depressing. I should be celebrating! I should be saying WOW! My baby is 6 months old in 2 days! WOW he's in a bigger bed, he's growing and THANK HEAVENS he's healthy! That's what I should be saying. AH I'm ungrateful aren't I??!

:P